Sexuality and Spirituality (Part 3) — Spotify from the CEC Library

I have been married for twenty years. My husband and I have always had an active sex life. We have not been intimate for one year. We have talked because neither I nor he feels any desire. We get along well and are companions. The fact is that I am not willing to make an effort to change, and neither is he. I want to know whether this phase could harm the relationship and whether it could have any spiritual origin.

Sex is part of our life; it may occur more or less frequently because no two people are alike. This also does not mean that a person who does not have or no longer wants physical contact with their partner does not like them. Our libido and our energy may be directed toward something else, and we can expend that energy in other activities. Imagine someone who works a great deal, beyond normal working hours: they channel all the energy that could be sexual into work. Thus, obviously, they will feel far less need and far less desire.

Each of us reaches a moment in our path through life when we begin to lose the motivation for contact. When we are younger, we are much more focused on this contact, this neediness, and this instinctiveness. As we mature, what we seek is much more affection and much more conversation; sexuality also changes. Running a hand through someone's hair, an embrace, spending time talking—these things gradually replace physical contact because there comes a point when even the body is no longer attractive; we do not preserve our youth when we reach age 60 or 70.

We can be healthy, happy, and well-adjusted, but it is obvious that our body undergoes an aging process. If you do not worry about this, if your relationship is good, and if you matured together with this relationship, this husband, this companion, countless things can make our life very happy. A mature relationship based on exchange, in which both people communicate without emotional charges, without unloading their anger and anxieties on the other person, but maintaining that pleasant conversation, allows people to continue through life with much more health and happiness.

Can a person who has no need or desire for sex be considered normal? Is it possible to unite with someone and have only companionship and affection, without sexuality? I think so. Even without using the example of those who seek a religious life, some people have no sexuality, do not have sexual relations, and devote themselves to work. Our libido and our energy can be directed wherever we wish.

If we direct them only toward sexuality, we will seek only contact with another person, develop ourselves through seduction, and remain in an absurd state of immaturity. Things need to be balanced. Life has countless elements to be considered along our path and in our daily routine. Sex may be part of life at some point, but we should not make it the main pillar of our life, with everything else merely playing a supporting role.

Gandhi, for example, used to have sexual relations with his wife. One day, his father died while he was with his wife, and he said, "From this day forward, I will no longer have sexual relations." He truly did not have sexual relations again, but this did not make him worse; nothing negative happened. In fact, he became the liberator of India and dedicated all his energy and strength to doing good for his fellow beings.

We should reflect on this without extremism: if I do not have sex, will I become ill or needy? In fact, emotional neediness is not so closely related to sexual relations. I heard this in a lecture where someone claimed that we must always have sex or else we will become needy; I disagree. An emotionally balanced person needs only a healthy relationship, companionship, appropriate communication with others, and happiness. For us to be happy externally, we must be happy internally. Thus, our neediness is resolved within us, not outside.

Is it normal for a person not to feel the need? I think each person has their own way of expressing themselves; some people have less need and others more. There may be people who have no need at all and others who have an absurd need and cannot conceive of life without contact with another person. The listener should watch the film "Yesterday's Children." The film is very good because it recounts a reality: the person began to revisit images from a past life, and the film was made from that. She went to the location and managed to confirm everything. It is a true story.

Astral projection was one of the experiences I had in the first years of my life, when I was still a child, and it changed the entire course of my existence. In matters of spirituality, just as in my physical experience, I dedicate my life entirely to it. Today, it is very important for each person to have their own spiritual experiences. We can listen to other people's experiences, read books about spirituality, have someone perform clairvoyance for us, or have some kind of fortune-telling done; all of this is something another person does for us, and we receive it according to our predisposition.

Having an astral projection experience means having contact with spirituality and not outsourcing knowledge. In this way, everything you have already heard about spirituality can be understood better—for example, what an aura is. You will be able to see the aura in the spiritual world, observe the chakras on the same plane, and speak directly with deceased relatives or friends. There will be no intermediary: you go directly to the person. This is a very great difference because you will be able to visit various locations, experience projective retrocognitions, and revisit previous lives, as well as the places where you were.

You will begin to understand things you do not yet understand, certain kinds of attitudes you have, and behaviors you cannot explain. When I was about 16 or 17 years old, I decided to tell my father that I had astral projections, saw relatives, and could predict certain things. When I told him, he replied, "Yes, my son, I am going to put you in psychoanalysis." I went to the psychoanalyst. In this way, I realized that even science cannot explain it.

This psychoanalyst created a fantastic movement in my life because, after I had spent some time with him, he said that he did not see any kind of difficulty in me concerning this. Thus, when spiritual matters are discussed, people say, "You are hallucinating." That was not my case because I never had difficulty relating to people or taking initiative. I was always someone who managed to accomplish what I set out to do.

Self-motivation exists, and through life's highs and lows, we can see how to maintain continuity without resorting to deceitful devices. We often need to lie in order to sustain ourselves. I managed to follow this path of spirituality, and astral projection was fundamental in my life.

Astral projection truly is a very important tool for our spiritual development. A listener sends in a question that has troubled him for some time: whenever he sees a woman, he feels sexual attraction. He dreams that he is with her; it feels very real. This happens even with actresses he sees in films; he only has to look, desire, and then he is already with her at night. Every night, there is a different woman in the dream. This situation bothers him greatly because it is beyond his control.

He wonders whether he is going crazy or whether this could actually be happening on the spiritual plane. How can he free himself from this? His concern is growing in a proportion he describes as not arithmetic but geometric. Now, whenever he looks at a woman, it seems that he is with her at night. He also reveals a difficulty: he cannot stop masturbating every day.

I think you should seek therapy. You ask whether this is something spiritual; everything begins in the emotional part. Our spiritual difficulties do not arise from nothing; they manifest dysfunctionally in the emotional sphere and culminate in spiritual harassment and various problems. At this moment, as you describe your situation, I believe you need a professional to help you understand better what is happening because it seems to be out of control.

I have nothing against any kind of sexual behavior. Every behavior has a point of balance. When you are dependent on the behavior, it means it is time to reassess it. When you can no longer say, "I do not want this," and your will cannot stop a process, it is because you are not in control of yourself. All it takes is an instinct at work. If your instinct is at work, this means that there are also other instinctive consciousnesses beside you, fueling your difficulties. Therefore, seek therapy, understand this, and reorganize sexuality within yourself.

We cannot have all the women in the world, just as women cannot have all the men. Ideally, each person should find someone they like, someone to whom they can devote affection, interest, and companionship. It is very difficult for someone who is unprepared to establish a healthy relationship, not only with a wife but also with friends, because we need to learn to share space. You should reorganize yourself in order to travel through life in a healthy way.