Family Relationships — Spotify from the CEC Library

Relationships are fundamental; this planet evolves only through relationships with others. I always say this, but sometimes I think it is not so easy to understand. We do not evolve in any other way. Think of another way to evolve that is not through relationships. You can only be better or worse when you have another person as a reference, right? So if you have no one around you, it will not work; you will have no problems. In fact, someone just told me: Moisés, I moved into an apartment alone and have no problems at all. Of course there are no problems; you are alone, there is no one to tell you what to do, what to change, and so on. That is how it is.

When you have another person, differences arise; no one is the same as anyone else. We are undergoing an evolutionary process with the same or different experiences over our various reincarnations. What happens is that no one deals with the things occurring around them in the same way. Imagine that you and another person began the reincarnatory process together and had experiences; each of you would respond to every situation in your own way, some with greater ease and others with greater difficulty. The same situation may leave one person traumatized, while for another it may mean nothing, absolutely nothing. Thus, the person who was traumatized will carry that mark from one life to another, while the other person will not even remember the difficulty.

A listener writes: "I would like to understand what is happening to me. It is something I have never told anyone, so I am not identifying myself in this email. I feel a deep love for my younger son, who is 12, but despite my older son, who is 15, being my first child and greatly anticipated, I do not feel the same way about him. There is a difference between us that I cannot identify. Everything he does bothers me: the way he speaks and relates to me. In fact, his presence bothers me. It is horrible to feel this way, but I am being honest, and I would like to change this and understand what is happening. Could you guide me in some way?"

That is tough. As mothers, we ordinarily think we should love all our children equally, like all our children, or attend to everyone equitably. From children toward their parents, there is also the idea that my father and mother must be loved. In other words, we believe everything can be made linear, but it does not work that way. So the first thing I observe in you, listener, is the guilt that you can let go of, because these are differences. We think that because someone is our child, we will not have difficulties, but we do. This difficulty must be understood so that you can resolve it. A good start is to talk honestly with your son.

But you should not go to your son and say, "Look, you do this and I do not like it; you do that and I do not like it." That is not a good path. We immediately begin accusing the other person and blaming them, which creates problems. Instead of speaking that way, say, "Son, come here. I need to talk to you, and I need you to listen to me, please. Have a little patience with what I am going to say; this is what I feel, and I would like to resolve it within myself." That changes the situation. You can tell him about the difficulty you are having, recognizing that the difficulty is not his but yours, and ask him to help you resolve it.

This opens his heart to serve as a companion along this path. So I think that is a good idea, even so that you can understand how this relationship became established this way. He may even tell you, "I also have difficulties with you, and I get very upset because of this and that." At no point in this conversation should you become confrontational, make demands, or point out mistakes, because if you do, everything ends. A channel of communication completely free of individual noise must be established, because each of us carries emotional charges and tends to discharge them onto the other person. That is not your idea; your intention is simply to talk to your son and establish a calmer and happier path so that everything improves.

Think about this and see how you can approach your son. I think it should be in a very calm, informal way, without any kind of prepared plan; otherwise, you say something like, "Look, let us go to such-and-such a place and then we will..." I do not think that is a good idea. It should happen calmly, so that you can approach him and invite him to listen to you, explaining that you need to resolve a few matters, that these matters concern you, and that you think they have nothing to do with him. This is a good path that will allow you to relieve your suffering and the things that are bothering you.

Relationships are fundamental in everyone's life. Begin following the path in search of this lesson, which I consider important to learn: relating to your own son, someone you brought into the world and with whom you may have difficulties. We should not turn these situations into an obligation to love all our children in the same way just because we are mothers. Face the relationship as something to be improved, talk to him calmly, without changing your tone of voice, becoming nervous, or pointing out mistakes, so that everything works out.

If you think this does not work or disagree with me, send another email so we can talk more. I think this is quite important, because it concerns family relationships, something that needs to be resolved. Listener, if you reflect on it, our family group consists of people who are alike; we are neither better nor worse than the others, and for the most part we are similar. Each person manifests their emotions differently, but the emotional context is certainly very similar; otherwise, we would not be in this family.

The spiritual world cannot place someone in a completely different context. If all the people in a group are evolved, someone placed among them who is not at that level cannot bear it and simply cannot follow the path. Or, conversely, when someone very evolved, who has already chosen their work, is placed somewhere, they may be in a family that is not so good, but they need to be in a place where they can perform the activity they set out to do. Thus, they will choose something productive, not something that hinders their work process. Therefore, people with emotional contents really do end up living together within very similar patterns, similar family patterns.

For us to improve our relationship with the spiritual world, we need more knowledge. In addition to sensitivity and feeling, which are very important, it is essential for you to know more about the spiritual world as well; you need to understand better how it works.

To have a clearer perception of the kind of spirit near you, you must learn the signs it presents as it approaches. Imagine a very primitive spiritual consciousness that brings certain sensations and physical reactions which must be identified immediately. So this is a learning process. You say you are feeling something; in this way, you already know the level of the experience and make an important identification. Suddenly, another kind of sign appears, and you begin to realize that although it is milder, it is not necessarily good merely because it is mild; instead, it has its own characteristics. In that case, another form of consciousness is recognized. Thus, you begin to discern between more primitive and more evolved consciousnesses.

You can perceive, for example, whether the consciousness near you is vengeful, whether it is trying to take over your will or your ego, or whether it wants to harm you because you did something to it. Also, if it is a relative, all of this must be recognized through the signs so that we can identify it.

You ask, "How can I know whether an intuition is a message from mentors or simply a thought?" I will simplify it: when it is your own thought, especially if you have obsessive characteristics, it returns constantly. You may think, "I do not know whether it is mine or not." But we can sense its origin. When it comes from outside, the thought is sudden. If you are somewhere and a thought suddenly arises, it may be—I am not saying that it is—from someone near you, and you will have some physical reaction. Then you may say, "I did not feel well; I felt bad."

Everyone has the mentor they deserve. Write that down: it is important. If you are a mess, do everything wrong, use profanity, curse everyone, and hate the world, that is not a good idea. Why? Because the consciousness that will be near you is exactly like that. Human relationships are the starting point of spirituality. Some people always treat others with goodwill: they like them, love them, joke with them, help them, and are always willing. When these people meet you with open arms, laughing, telling a joke or something interesting, you notice that they speak in a welcoming way. They joke and say, "I like you," "I love you," revealing a much calmer relationship.

Imagine approaching someone with a scowl, not knowing whether that person hates you, whether they are going to kill you—they look awful, with a little dark cloud over their head. The spiritual world works in exactly the same way, except that you feel it. Those who remain near you are your equals. You are rude and ill-tempered, you have a pile of problems, and suddenly you say your spiritual helper is a highly evolved person who comes surfing on a blue cloud with a halo. It does not work that way. First, look at who you are. Take a blank sheet of paper and list the positive things you have and the negative things you have. The negatives will certainly beat the positives ten to zero. Do not deceive yourself; do things coherently.

Someone says, "I am a spiritualist and I am confused. I cannot understand why we remember nothing from our previous life. If I was the one who lived it, who was there acting and having experiences, how is it possible for everything to be erased from memory as though nothing had happened? To this day I have not found a satisfactory explanation for this." If you have many unresolved emotional contexts, your vision becomes blurred even in physical life. When emotional charges are present, they distort reality, and you see life according to your personal version. This is called detachment from reality: you see everything the way you want it to be, not as it actually happens.

In daily life, we have a defense mechanism called denial, which prevents us from accepting the death of a relative, the loss of a person, a business, or money. The situation is not simple. Imagine bringing in information from a previous life that you do not fully understand. That is why I consider this subject fascinating. We do not own the truth; we are researchers.