Relationship vs. Involvement — YouTube from the CEC Library

When I mentioned the difference between a relationship and involvement, I was asked about the criteria I use to distinguish them. Initially, both are interactions, but the distinction emerges when we analyze the quality of that interaction. In a relationship, the ability to interact is good; in involvement, this ability is not always good.

There is no neediness in a relationship. In involvement, we find neediness, fear, jealousy, anger, competition, violence, aggressiveness, and passivity. Fear is the origin of these feelings in involvement—elements absent from a relationship. Distinguishing between the two is crucial because relating is a higher state than simply falling into one's own needs and desires while believing one is relating. A true relationship is bilateral: one cannot relate to something that does not respond.

A relationship allows connection with everything that exists, while involvement is limited by a package of fears and anger. This difference goes unnoticed in our lives, just as the one between love and passion, which has gone unnoticed for centuries and centuries and millennia, even though they are very different things. Love is continuity between two people; passion is often impulsive and does not lead to continuity. With maturity, time, and a desire to grow and be better, passion can become love, expanding from an individual focus into universal love. I acknowledge that I may be mistaken because life is a constant process of learning and our truths can change as we grow. Fully accepting the other person is an individual action, and a true relationship occurs when there is reciprocity. Otherwise, we are merely involved.