Romantic relationships: love or neediness? (Consciousness and Evolution Program) — YouTube from the CEC Library

About affective difficulties: when we begin a relationship, the first moment is one of excitement. We invest our energies and believe we have found the great love of our lives. At this stage, we see the person as we want them to be, not as they really are, filling our emotional gaps. The person seems more beautiful, sweet, intelligent, and good company, complementing our unconscious needs.

Many times, we believe that this relationship is one of love. However, to know whether it is really love, it is necessary to go past some cycles of our chakras. Passion, associated with the base chakra, lasts about one year. In the spleen chakra, it can last up to two and a half years. In the navel chakra, it can reach four years. After these periods, the relationship can deteriorate if there is no solid foundation.

A relationship of true love requires maturity to talk and to resolve differences. In crises, it is common to blame the other person, but a healthy relationship requires flexibility and a willingness to solve problems together, without winners or losers. Most relationships, because of the level of consciousness, last up to four years, often dragging on. For a lasting relationship, it is necessary to have consciousness and a willingness to make changes and adjustments. It cannot be only a genital relationship, typical of adolescence. The relationship must have clear goals: where do we want to get to together? How can we reconcile different interests? Everything has a solution, even if we have not yet found it.

The chakras influence who we are, and the chakra with the most activity identifies our level of consciousness. Although we work with all the chakras, one stands out, reflecting our expression in relationships. When we face difficulties in relationships—whether with friends, partners, or at work —, we often repeat patterns without noticing. It is common for us to fight or to have reactive responses, which can complicate our life. Personal evolution occurs through relationships, both with ourselves and with others and with the environment around us. If we face difficulties, this indicates that we still do not fully understand the meaning of life, remaining in immaturity and in constant conflict.

The chakras are related to our level of consciousness. When we are at an emotional level, we face pathologies and difficulties, such as aggressiveness, passivity, depression, inadequacy, and shyness. These issues are connected with our emotional and energetic construction. Spirituality is not separate from our emotional part; by improving our emotional part, we reorganize our chakra structure, and vice versa.

It is common to hear that one companion can hold back the other's life. This happens because we are influenced by various energies, emotions, and ideals, which can create obstacles in relationships. Some people face more difficulties than others. A listener reports relationship difficulties since her separation. Many times, after a breakup, we look for partners with energy patterns similar to the previous ones. To improve our affective life, it is necessary to review and reorganize ourselves. As we become calmer and more patient, we attract people with these same qualities. Otherwise, we can be aggressive, controlling, and needy, wearing down the relationship. If we cannot improve on our own, it is important to seek help.

A listener asks whether it is necessary to have a partner or whether it is possible to live well alone. She likes being alone but feels family and social pressure to marry and have children. It is important to respect one's own pace and to seek relationships that begin through mutual knowledge, without external pressures. A relationship does not have to begin through sexuality. The essential thing is that it begin through understanding between the people. It is important to talk a great deal and to build a path together, especially if the goal is a lasting relationship. If the relationship is superficial—going out with someone for one night and then moving on to another —, that is another story. What is sought is a relationship with continuity, in which one can have a companion and build something together.

I see no point in beginning a relationship only through physical attraction. It is fundamental to get to know each other, to understand who they are. A relationship should begin in the heart, not in the base chakra. If it begins through the base chakra, it will be immature and will not have continuity. Some people prefer to stay alone and do not feel a need to have a partner. Society created the idea that we need to marry, have children, and start a family, but that is not necessary. Each one of us is a consciousness that came to evolve on Earth and must find its own path of evolution. What matters is that we be happy and that we grow. If we find someone who shares our values and wants to build a life together, wonderful. But, essentially, we are here for our own growth and evolution.