Can You Deal with the Different Types of People? — YouTube from the CEC Library

Today's topic is "Can you deal with different types of people?" We frequently associate "different" with "difficult." However, what is different does not have to be difficult; it can be a learning experience and an opportunity for growth. The cultural and geographical diversity of the people around us is a great source of richness because it allows us to broaden our horizons. If we limit ourselves to our own environment, our growth will be restricted.

Many people associate this topic with difficult relationships, but it does not have to be that way. On CD 3, called "Acceptance," Moisés Esagüi states: "If you want to improve your acceptance of your fellow human beings, begin by accepting who you are." This highlights the importance of looking at ourselves when something irritates us. The first step is to understand why something bothers us because this varies from person to person. Some people become irritated in traffic, others by motorcycle couriers, while some are not disturbed.

The focus should always be on our own growth and evolution. Irritation with other people's behavior reveals more about us than about them. If we ask who is bothered by someone posting frequently on social media, some people may think that person is needy or a show-off, while others do not care. These reactions reflect our own internal issues. Difficulty can arise both from differences and similarities, such as when someone is very similar to us and we cannot handle it.

Irritation can mirror jealousy, envy, or personal difficulties. Self-knowledge is a painful path because it forces us to see our own flaws and insecurities. When we realize that something irritates us, it is an invitation to reflect on what this reveals about us and how we can change. One illustrative story involves Moisés's mother and an aggressive caretaker at his parents' country property, which had been her dream. The caretaker aggressively demanded a raise, and Moisés, still a boy, feared for his mother's safety. She, however, wisely asked the caretaker to return in three days so that they could talk. The son saw aggressiveness, but his mother saw desperation and an inability to ask for help. Three days later, the caretaker returned, made his request, and received help.

This story illustrates how suffering may lie behind aggressiveness. We should not passively accept everything, but it is important to understand the context and recognize that aggressive people are generally not happy or balanced. Another example is Etty Hillesum, a German Jewish woman from Amsterdam who died at age thirty in Auschwitz. She wrote eight notebooks, not with the intention of publishing them but as a source of personal relief. These notebooks became a diary similar to Anne Frank's. Etty's diary, entitled "The Diary," recounts her story, including conflicts involving life and sexuality, and describes her journey in the concentration camp, where she developed a deep connection with spirituality.

A passage from the diary illustrates her ability to see another person's pain: "It is not easy to frighten me, not because I am brave, but because I know that I am dealing with human beings and need to try as hard as possible to understand everything anyone may do." She saw the young Gestapo officer as tormented and wished to treat him because she knew that young men like him become dangerous when set loose in the world. Etty is mentioned in the book "Nonviolent Communication" for her remarkable compassion and empathy.

We do not need to spend time with and agree with everyone. We can accept and understand another person as a well of difficulties and unhappiness, but we are not obligated to spend time with them. Whether we do so is our choice. It is important not to feel angry or have our heart race when someone provokes us. This indicates a lack of full acceptance. If we can look at someone and recognize that person's difficulties, we can accept them without needing to spend time with them.

Whether or not to spend time with someone is up to each person because everything involves exchange and an energy pattern, and spending time with certain people can cause significant energy depletion. Acceptance is not agreement or coexistence, but understanding and moving beyond one's own ego in order to see the other person. Different does not mean the same, yet we often expect others to act as we do. We have expectations and fail to see that the other person is different. When we talk, we see our own expectations and frustrations. We need to accept that the other person is who they are, with their difficulties, and set our expectations aside. Respecting who each person is by moving beyond one's own ego is fundamental to dealing with differences.

In sales, we learn that each person requires a different approach. There is no point in being the same salesperson for everyone because people are different and require distinct forms of language. This reading of people applies throughout life. It is important to observe each person around us.

Do not confuse passivity with calmness. Both passive and aggressive people carry emotional charges. In the Instagram poll, 58% of people who follow our work considered themselves passive and 42% aggressive. The second survey showed that 79% of people find it more difficult to deal with aggressive people, while 21% find it more difficult to deal with passive people. A passive person does not take a position but carries dissatisfaction, anger, neediness, and low self-esteem. An aggressive person, in turn, has more fears the more aggressive they are. The person may not explode outwardly but dissimulates, laughs, mocks, or speaks badly about people behind their backs. Aggressiveness can be controlled for a while, but eventually it becomes impossible. An aggressive person is instinctive, impulsive, and often feels guilt. No one with these emotional characteristics is happy.

An aggressive person is anxious, and to relate well to others, we need to be assertive. Being assertive means communicating without emotional charge, seeing the other person, and taking a position without guilt. Assertiveness comes from a good evolutionary level and is related to the heart chakra. Reaching this state requires practice. Speaking is an important exercise, even for passive people, who are afraid of not being accepted. A friend began talking more with her aggressive husband, overcoming her initial fear. She committed herself to this practice and can now converse more calmly. Speaking is a necessary exercise for everyone, including aggressive people.

In addition to human behavior, we work with spirituality. Each of us is surrounded by similar spirits. When we speak, we also address those spirits. I will share a personal experience: my husband had a health problem and went to the hospital, but I felt that I needed to go to St. Damian. I explained its importance to my mother-in-law, and she understood. Speaking is essential to avoid misunderstandings and build relationships.

In my husband's family, I am the one who is different. They love barbecue, but my two daughters and I are vegetarians. My brother-in-law was initially upset but bought a grill for vegetables, demonstrating care and acceptance of differences. This is an example of how to deal with differences without anger. We are learning to accept and deal with differences, which is a great source of richness and learning.

Growth on this planet occurs through relationships, accepting differences, and working on acceptance. By moving beyond our ego, we grow. People with different customs and accents can come together to build something. It is important to have spaces for working on relationships and acceptance, where we can receive feedback and learn to coexist.

Interaction with people who are different can be challenging, especially regarding the degree of closeness and intimacy. It is easier to deal with people who are similar, but it is important not to isolate ourselves. People at a high evolutionary level are examples of openness to those who are different. If they closed themselves off, many people would not evolve. It is essential to move beyond the ego and relate to others. Some people have difficulty sustaining conversations, especially with quieter people. This can be an exercise in patience and acceptance of silence. To relate well to others, we need to resolve our emotional charges and make space for the other person in our lives. Acceptance is not submission.