Emotional Neediness — Spotify from the CEC Library

Neediness takes countless forms. The type of neediness that most affects an individual is emotional neediness, much more than a lack of money, although it cannot be denied that money is fundamental for comfort, food, and other necessities. Within the psychic and emotional context, emotional neediness can obscure a person's very existence.

Imagine a person who received neither affection nor warmth from father and mother. This person lived in a very dysfunctional family in which everyone fought and argued. Situations arise in which an aggressive father thinks he knows everything, offends the mother, belittles her, and belittles the child. Inside the home, he truly destroys everything; outside the home, he presents himself as a saint and could even be canonized, because everyone says, "Man, he is a saint, so good and hardworking." In reality, he is destroying the entire family structure, sometimes without knowing it. The person received no guidance or came from a family like this and believes that everything is all right.

It does not work that way. Our children, our family, and the people around us need to be treated with respect and listened to. We need to give importance to what people say and to who they are. They should be recognized. If you wish to be recognized in a healthy way, recognize other people too. A person who is aggressive, negative, or only destroys and confronts others is also recognized for who they are; that is not a good idea.

Someone born into a situation like this will certainly experience emotional neediness. Imagine a son or daughter who leaves a family in which the father and mother never hug, do not say affectionate things, and do not talk; when they address each other, they use a commanding voice. When this person leaves the family, the person tends to act in the same way, often feeling a great emotional void.

The first man or woman to appear is used in an attempt to plug the hole left by the person's emotional needs. This person ends up finding the wrong person. The marriage ends within the normal four-year cycle, which is how long a relationship not based on love, affection, discernment, and maturity can last. It may even continue afterward, but it will not be a very good relationship.

There are well-adjusted people, yes. I will not say that they represent the majority; they are a minority because the family constitution is normally based on rules and beliefs. Beliefs sometimes take precedence over reality, common sense, and affection. The father may be very rigid because he has a religion that determines that things must be a certain way, and he forgets that the other person is a human being who needs affection, to be listened to, to be welcomed, to be touched, and to be loved. For this reason, there will indeed be needy people.

The fruit—that is, the seed—of neediness is ignorance, just as ignorance is the seed of all things. Ignorance makes us follow paths on which we do not exchange with others and do not relate well or healthily, because we often have neither the emotional space nor the time for this, whether for ourselves or for the other person. There are indeed people who may be well adjusted, with a little neediness here or there, but who manage to live functionally and calmly, with the psychic health that enables them to accomplish everything they want.

When we have emotional difficulties, we end up passing that difficulty on to daily life, in our relationships with others, with work, and in social and family life. I recommend therapy because if you are not well, you need to readjust and give new meaning to your life in order to achieve well-being. No one should live unhappily; that concept is not appropriate. In fact, attributing unhappiness to karma makes no sense. Karma is a subject that we still need to discuss, and the emotional charges brought from one life to another can be called karma.

Emotional charges relate to who you are, what you did, and your inheritances, because you are heir to yourself over several lives. It can be resolved; being unhappy should not be an option. Our choice should be happiness, and we should seek it. Imagine an extremely aggressive person. What kind of energy does this person emit? You can even feel the pressure in the environment. Some people are aggressive without needing to open their mouths; they remain still, and we already feel an energetic and emotional pressure. This can be perceived through clairvoyance.

Clairvoyance has nothing to do with a gift. That is a story that does not correspond to reality. Human beings do have the capacity, over the course of several lives and during this present life, to work, improve, and refine themselves. This is work; it has nothing to do with the idea that God chooses a person and gives that person a gift. If someone has true clairvoyance through which the person can truly see people's auras, energies, and chakras, that person is certainly following a path of spirituality, and not only in this life. Clairvoyance is therefore not a gift; it is work. The person discovered and learned over time and followed a path of knowledge. You can do this.

Clairvoyance involves understanding human vision, how the etheric double works, the chakras, and the energy emitted when laying on one's hands, as well as how energy leaves the hands. It also involves knowing what you can or cannot do for another person and how to perceive these energies in different environments, something that you often do not even perceive. If you are in a place and suddenly see a dark shape, you may think that it is only a shadow. You need to understand how clairvoyance works in order to understand and practice it.

Regression, for example, is a process often performed with the eyes closed. Clairvoyance allows you to have your eyes open and, through knowledge, practice and manage to see certain things. This is not religion. The work involves questioning and criticism; one learns and, through this acquired knowledge, after a great deal of research and study, tests are performed and we reach conclusions.

We do not own the truth because absolute truth certainly does not yet reside on this planet. However, I believe that there is a relative truth that we construct as we approach the whole. An email says, "Moisés Esagüi, please help me solve a problem that is keeping me awake at night. My boss is a bundle of nerves, incompetent, and completely controlling. Would you believe me if I told you that he even controls my trips to the bathroom? But it is true. I live under pressure from the moment I wake up until I leave work. This is not living. I love my work, but this relationship is killing me. I have begun to experience chest pain, my blood pressure is high, and I have tremors. I cannot relax."

I have already tried to speak subtly about this with my boss's supervisor, but I realized that he has no idea who my boss really is and would not believe me. I do not know what to do. We are dealing with an aggressive person. There is a way to deal with him by being assertive; if you are passive, he will destroy you. Little by little, you will somatize everything: illness, headaches, back pain, tremors, high blood pressure, chest pain, and anguish. The worst part is that this does not end when the workday ends; the difficulties continue after work. It is therefore important to develop assertiveness and adopt assertive behavior.

You may think: how will that resolve the problem? It is simple. Assertiveness is a form of behavior in which you take a position, demonstrate your feelings, and appropriately express what you are thinking so that the other person cannot attack you. The other person will have to listen to you. Assertive behavior lies between passivity and aggressiveness. You will not withdraw when the other person speaks; you will take a position, tell the person what you think, and establish limits. When you speak with feeling and clarity, without fear, the other person realizes that he is going too far.

You may think, "I can do and say this, but I will lose my job." That will not happen. Be assertive and believe this: if you are assertive, you will put the other person in his place and remove him from your space, because he is intruding. He has intruded into your place. This occurs in the relationship between husband and wife: the husband invades the wife's space, and the wife invades the husband's space. There are therefore things that you need to know.

The husband is a man and should therefore fulfill the role of a man. You, as a woman, fulfill the role of a woman. Some men take on the role of a woman, and some women take on the role of a man. Sometimes it is necessary to awaken to this. You will learn about assertiveness in order to be happier. When she began her relationship with her husband, she began dreaming about death, murder, and persecution. He is very aggressive, shouts at everyone, and no one at work can stand him. She listened to my program about therapy and suggested that he undergo therapy. He, however, told her to go to hell and said that she needed therapy. When he drinks, he causes scenes.

I do not know what to do. How does one end up married to a husband like this? I will explain why we marry someone who is not exactly what we expected. You are in love; did I mention neediness? You have the greatest neediness in the world, just like everyone who is in love. When someone appears to fulfill this need, that person is usually a prince or an enchanted princess, because that is what we imagine. In addition, the person conceals what he or she truly is because this is part of the seduction process. Over time, the person can no longer sustain an identity that does not belong to him or her, and the real person then appears. Your husband emerges and becomes present. Now you have someone to deal with who is not exactly the person you imagined you had married.

There is always a way for us to handle our lives. I think you need to speak with him, but to have that conversation, you need to prepare and better understand how this relationship works and what is happening. In the case you mentioned, he drinks and is aggressive. He must have harassment left over to give away for free.

When the person beside you is experiencing intense spiritual harassment, you begin to feel ill when you lie beside that person in bed. I have accounts from women who say, "My goodness, when my husband lies down, I want to leave the bed; I have to sleep somewhere else because I cannot stand it. I begin to itch and feel myself being touched. Imagine the discomfort and headache, as though something were touching me." It is a bad feeling to know that this is real. Some people truly are in a condition of energetic imbalance. Nightmares—the person says that she dreams about death; that is actually a nightmare, not a dream.

As we seek to understand this, I think that you can prepare yourself. Relationships with others are the basis of our growth. We grow and evolve precisely through the relationships we can have with others. If no one else existed in the world, you would have no relationship problems. We have them because the other person is always different from us. In this case, the person seems very different.

Perhaps you need therapy to discover how many things you have in common with him, because you joined him. We do not join someone who is very different; something connects us. Perhaps you are aggressive in a covert way. Let us analyze this. Discover more clearly who you are and how this relationship was constituted in order to modify it. I see that it is quite difficult, but it certainly has a solution. When we have a person like this beside us, the situation is very serious.